North Pole: MCDS (Nasdaq - Down 4.75) In the aftermath of the tragic assassination death of former MCDS Inc CEO Santa Claus, new CEE Mackenzee Gorf reveals that MCDS is actually in a great deal of financial trouble. "We were shocked as we reviewed the books and found out that the company is hemorrhaging funds like nobody would have believed. "Santa was a Jolly old Elf, to be sure, but his bookkeeping left something to be desired." CEE Gorf revealed that MCDS was deeply in debt and pointed as an example to the maintenance costs of running the reindeer barn, which had increased over 87% from the previous year. Even more shocking to the financial world was the announcement by Gorf that MCDS would be laying off staff.

"We have been able to reach a deal with Ulitmate Package Delivery Solutions (UPDS traded NYSE as UPDS 72.95 up 0.12) to deliver holiday gifts at a substantial discount over running our own in-house delivery department. Blitzen, head of Reindeer Local #375 was outraged when he was informed of the Ultimate Package agreement and that his entire department of 9 tiny reindeer was being laid off. "This is NUTS," Blitzen said during a VNN interview with Wolf Blitzer (no relation)." This would have never happened with Santa in charge. Our department has consistently outperformed expectations. This local been loyal to this company for over 100 years and it's just not right to dump us days before the biggest delivery run of the year." CEE Gorf said that the agreement with Ultimate Package provided a great opportunity for the company to reduce costs without sacrificing service.

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