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| MCDS, Inc. (Nasdaq MCDS - 183 1/2 - Up 3.4) In a move that surprised nobody in the industry, the Board of Directors of MCDS today promoted Mackenzee Gorf, formerly Senior Elf in Charge of Operations to the position of CEE (Chief Executive Elf) in a move to quickly replace Santa Claus, lost recently in a tragic assassination. The company wanted to insure investors and customers alike that the company was in good hands for the upcoming holiday season. The following was a statement from Wally Finkelstein, the Chair Elf of the Board of Directors: "Nobody was more loved than Santa Claus. For more than years than any of us can remember, he was a shining beacon of giving in a world that only seemed to get colder and crueler. He will be missed more than can be put into words, but as Santa himself was fond of saying, "I don't care what it takes, Christmas eve is coming and nothing is going to stop us." MCDS is taking Santa's words to heart and taking action to make sure that this holiday season, marked as it is by tragedy, will not be a disappointment to our customers. With this in mind, the Board has voted to promote Gorf to the position of Chief Executive Elf effectively immediately. Gorf has been in the position of Senior Elf in Charge of Operations, and essentially Santa's right hand elf for the last 42 seasons and we on the board felt that if Santa were here to choose his own successor, he would chose Gorf." Gorf himself had this to say. "Santa Claus was an institution the world over. Lets face it - nobody can fill those boots - not now, not ever. I'm very honored that the board has moved me into a position where I will be able to continue the big guy's work with all the honor and enthusiasm that he brought to the position. We're dedicating this Christmas to him." Mr. Gorf became somewhat emotional at this point and was unable to continue. He was lead away from the podium by MCDS security chief Boof. While the internal Security Department is still working on finding and catching the killer of the beloved Claus, they currently offer only "no comment" when asked about their progress. The world waits in anticipation of the assassin's capture. |
 Mackenzee Gorf, Recently promoted by the board of Directors to the postion of Chief Executive Elf after the tragic loss of the CEO Santa Claus |
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