The Night They Shot Santa

Associates News Press Report:

ANP embedded reporter Benjamin Quebert is with the Reindeer Revolution during their ongoing battle against the Enemies of Christmas.

Benjamin's story continues.

"Q-pid!" I call into the radio, hoping that I've correctly understood the directions and that I'm working it right.

"We have a problem!"

Q-Pid: Just'l, your doing fine. That alarm just means that somebody has gotten a radar-lock on the sled. We need to do something about that.

Just'l put out your right hand out to the dash. There are three buttons. They look like the starlight mints Prancer is always chomping away at, the ones with the red spirals. There's a white one, a green one and a light blue one. I want you to press the light blue one.

Just'l: OK, I've pressed the button, but nothing seems to be ....

As I stood there my stomach lurched. The entire sled started to melt - or at least it looked like it melted until it had gone from something hard and solid to something that seemed to be made of smoke. A bluish light came on along the floor board, providing illumination. I reached down and felt the bench where I was sitting. It felt solid, but looked insubstantial..

Q-Pid: Congratulations - you're now in CES Mode (Christmas Eve Stealth Mode). Nothing, not radar, not satellite, not nearby flying planes can see you now. Heck, Captain Kirk couldn't find you with every sensor on the Enterprise right now.

Just'l: How much time is left.

Q-Pid: You should be there in just over 5 minutes.

Just'l: How much time till the self destruct?

Q-Pid: Well, um 2 minutes 45.

Just'l: We're not going to make it, are we.

Q-Pid: Just'l. The three buttons. Push the green one.

As I watched, Just'l pushed the button and was bathed in a strange green light. He looked at me, something akin to fear in his eyes. After a few seconds, the light faded everywhere but in Just'l's eyes. They still glowed green.

Just'l (in a strange, somewhat mechanical voice): Roger that base - I copy. We can take it from here.

Then he reached down, tugged his seatbelt to make sure it was snug.

Benny, he said to me. Sit down and hang on.

Then he leaned over and pushed the white button.